Try, Try, Trying Again

Notes, you can find them on my monitor, on my desk, on my bulletin boards, in a variety of journals, in my phone... I have notes everywhere because I have the memory of a gold fish (or as an old acquaintance once lovingly put it, a bubbly-eyed goldfish).  I keep all the notes because I don't want to forget them - problem - I have too many and forget what I wrote, where.

But, once and in a while, I'll open an old blog, or a long-since forgotten journal or a note tucked, deep into the depths of my desk, read and think, "I need to remember that."

Well... that happened today.  I was reading through an old blog about how I was going to tackle one of my flaws and now it being ten months since then, reflected to see if I had changed the way I said I would.  Thankfully, I had improved on that particular flaw, but it is by no means resolved.  But it got me thinking ---

We all have times where we find something about ourselves that we want to change, start the process, sputter, start the process again, sputter harder, and then inevitability quit...

Despite all that, sometimes we still keep try, try, trying again.  We may take six steps back to every three steps forward, but hey, it used to be ten steps back to every two steps forward - progress is progress. 

We all have a ways to go on the things that we challenge to improve about ourselves (well, most of us [cough, cough] ... me) but there's one thing my husband tells me that makes him proud of me and that is that I never give-up trying.  I have tried fixing my temper, failed, but keep trying.  I have tried to lose weight, failed, but then try again.  I have tried being selfless, failed, but keep trying. 

I have failed, but I get back up and try again.

It's been a huge blessing to hear from some peers that some of the things I've been working on are starting show results (20 years later).  I got to this point because of the fact that sometime, long ago, I decided to start trying to change for the better, failed, but kept right on trying again.

If you're trying to change for the better; if you're trying to be the kind of person that you know you should be, and then fail.  PLEASE don't give up.  Change, the good kind, doesn't come easily.  It takes work; difficult, relentless, tiring work... but don't you think you're worth it?